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Mary Roach

Continuing prudery about any investigations of sex. The scientists involved "to this day, endure ignorance, closed minds, righteousness and prudery. Their lives are not easy. But their cocktail parties are the best."

Sex researcher Vern Bullough landed on 1970 FBI list of "subversive Americans" for publishing scholarly papers on prostitution and working to decriminalize oral sex and cross-dressing men.

But long before Masters and Johnson or Kinsey, aws an 1890 gynecologist Robert Latou Dickinson. He was first to describe masturabtion, especially female clitoral manipulation, as normal. He also recorded some particularly unorthodox patients, whose details he passed on to Kinsey 50 years later. (For example, the paedophile who dabbled in incest - 17 relatives, incuding Grandma - and bestaility on a grand scale)

Kinsey measured the distance travelled by ejaculated semen. The belief at the time was that it was the force of ejaculation that plastered semen against the cervix that determined fertility. Kinsey recruited 300 men to wank on film, and showed that for 3/4 of them, semen just slopped out (although one individual managed to send it 8 feet.!)

(Self deprecating style of author shows up in a footnote comment about picturing Masters and J probably watching prostitutes and customers peering through the drapes "because that's the kind of sicko I am")

Under the heading of Things You Probably Didn't Want To Know, scientists in Denmark found that if female pigs were sexually stimulated while being artificially insemnated, fertilization success went up 6% This discovery led to a govt-backed Five Point Stimulation Plan for pig farmers, complete with instructional DVD and color posters to tack on the wall of the barn. This led to a certain amount of awkwardness for Danish farmers, most of whom carry out the artificial insemnation themselves. As a preliminary they employ a teaser boar whose job it is to slobber on the females. The slobber contains a hormone. You can dispense with the teaser by buying a Scippy, a remote-controlled plastic boar doused in artificial boar spray.

Boars have to be 'milked' of sperm by hand - unlike stallions and bulls they don't like artificial vaginas, possibly because of their corkscrew penis. So they have to be squeezed, hard, for anything up to 15 minutes

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Place in Los Angeles called Topco that makes sex toys - plastic vaginas and anuses. Porn stars have casts made of their orifices and get a royalty on each one sold

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Lazarus Reflex - if you trigger the right spot on the spine of a freshly dead body or a brain dead cadaver, it will stretch out its arms, raise them up then cross them over its chest

Humans seem to be only animal that dislikes spectators. All other animals will just keep going. A masturbating monkey will stare straight at you

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