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An Utterly Impartial History of Britain
(2000 Years of Upper Class Twits In Charge)
"May I apologise in advance for any errors that have slipped through the checking. My only defence is that these mistakes are fairly minor compared to the decision of the Scottish army to invade England during the Black Death."
William the Conqueror introduced the feudal system, where serfs are bound to their masters and the land. They could get their freedom by running away and evading capture for a year and a day. Every exploitative system needs to provide the remote possibility of escape that prevents the oppressed falling into total despair. Ours is called the National Lottery.
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William's son William Rufus (bc he had a red face) never married and never had even illegitimate children. And always dressed outrageously. ("So definitely gay then").
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William Herschel discovered the first new planet since ancient times and sycophantically named it Georgium Sidus (George's Star). But after intense lobbying by the Guild of Comedy Writers, it was renamed Uranus.
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Robert Clive led the British takeover of India by the East India Company - basically the paramilitary wing of the London Stock Exchange.
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